Tovarisch Cocktail . . . or so we thought

Here's the real recipe for a Tovarisch Cocktail:

6 oz vodka
3 oz Jaegermeister
2 oz fresh lime juice

The word "tovarisch" is Russian for ally. Which would make sense in relation to the liquors included. Is this cocktail a reference to the Nazi-Soviet Pact of 1938? (If so, surely the lime isn't meant to refer to Limeys . . . ) Funny that there is also a cocktail called Allies (gin, vermouth, and Kummel or Jaegermeister); the "allies" there would be England, France, and Germany. (When did that happen?)

Anyway . . . we had a slight mishap and made a not-so-Tovarisch cocktail. Here's what we actually mixed (let's call it a Muddy Pond):

6 oz Bombay Sapphire gin
3 oz Jaegermeister
2 oz fresh lime juice

Shake with ice; makes 2 servings.

• Nose: Smells like cough medicine
• Taste: I liked the way I first tasted the lime and then got a finish of licorice
• Looks: Like crap. Specifically, really runny diarrhea. Or, perhaps slightly more innocuous, like pond water. We were not a fan of the cloudy brown color. 
• Goes with: A sunny spring day. . . by a dirty pond, maybe.
• 3 out of 10

Verdict: We don't hate it, but we definitely don't love it. We won't be making this again. But maybe sometime we should try the true Tovarisch Cocktail, with vodka instead of gin? Not today, though. Because right now my face is numb. 

French 75

4 oz Bombay Sapphire gin
2 tsp confectioner's sugar
1 oz lemon juice
10 oz Brut champagne

Shake first three ingredients with ice and pour into flutes; top off with champagne; makes 2 servings

The confectioner's sugar didn't exactly work . . . you would think it might have dissolved in the liquid, but it mostly just settled to the bottom. (The recipe we were following actually called for "superfine sugar" but confectioner's was the finest we had on hand.) We also didn't use the cool-looking lemon twist pictured here, but we did garnish with a lemon slice. We drank from champagne glasses, as pictured, despite Esquire's call for Collins glasses.

• Nose: smells like a summer's day
• Taste: lightly, pleasantly decadent
• Looks: fancy
• Goes with: a New Orleans balcony in the late afternoon sun
• Rating: 6.5 out of 10

Verdict: I think next time we'll try it with bar syrup instead of confectioner's sugar. This cocktail is definitely worth trying again, but it's also worth trying improvements. Maybe more lemon juice?

Dirty Martini

6 oz Bombay Sapphire gin
3 oz dry vermouth
1 1/2 oz olive juice
4 garlic-stuffed olives

Shake with ice; makes 2 servings; blows your mind!

This is the classic James Bond cocktail (shaken, not stirred, no matter what Maxim might say about combined spirits) with a dirty twist thanks to a dash of olive juice. (I'm kind of surprised James Bond doesn't like it dirty.) Despite the picture, we haven't tried pimiento-stuffed olives (yet)--we love garlic.

• Nose: The first time Sam smelled it, he thought, Oh my god. This is why alcoholics drink martinis.
• Taste: Ultra-briny and ultra-delicious, with a massive kick behind it.
• Looks: Super-cool. With the olives and the shape of the glass, it looks like a work of art. It is a work of art. 
• Goes with: Any location from our bar at home to a super-chic hotel bar in NYC. Drink while nibbling wasabi chips and kalamata olives.
• Rating: 10 out of 10. The perfect drink? 

Verdict: Heaven in a glass. This becomes our regular Thirsty Thursday tipple.