Coconut Heart

1 oz coconut rum
Pineapple juice
1 oz Pina Colada mix
1/2 oz light rum white

Well, that's what our friendly barman Kenny (known ubiquitously as 'Cool Kenny') wrote on a scrap of paper that we brought back with us from Jamaica. Yes, we went all the way to Jamaica and all we brought back for you is this lousy cocktail recipe! But, hey, at least it wasn't a lousy cocktail.

Rum punch was a pretty lousy cocktail, in our opinion. It may be the most popular drink on the island (as well as the title of the Elmore Leonard novel that inspired Tarantino's brilliant movie Jackie Brown), but the ones we had tasted like cheap rum mixed with very cheap synthetic fruit juice (which is probably exactly what they were). Coconut Heart, on the other hand, had far more elegance and depth of flavor, while still seeming like an authentic taste of the Caribbean.

• Nose: coconut, pineapple and rum (funnily enough)
• Taste: ditto
• Looks: we don't remember for sure, but Kathy says it was yellowish-white in a 'woman-shaped glass', and I distinctly recall a Mascherano cherry (like a maraschino cherry, but with a bit more bite) and possibly an umbrella, though Kathy says the umbrella was just my imagination
• Goes with: a hotel swimming pool, a Montego Bay sunset, jerk chicken, and Ding Dong's 'Tom Cruise' played on a loop
• Rating: 7 out of 10

Verdict: Probably a bit too sweet for most occasions, but a nice souvenir of a cool trip.

Ouzo and Water

Pour an inch or two of Ouzo into a tumbler over ice, and add water to taste.

I'm not sure this even qualifies as a cocktail, strictly speaking, but it has all the qualities you want from a good cocktail: delicious taste, subtly intoxicating effect, and a hint of decadent escapism, transporting you, for the space of an afternoon hour, to another world. In this case, the world you are transported to is a warm and glorious evening on a Greek island, sitting on a bar terrace, overlooking the Adriatic, with no concerns but what you should nibble while sipping your cloudy-white, licorice-flavored drink. We ate salami, cheese, olives, and wasabi chips. A more authentic choice would probably have been some sort of pickled squid dish, but it was still pretty great. (Of course, it helped that this particular February afternoon in Texas was unseasonably warm.)

I read an article online about how all the ouzos you can buy Stateside are commercial crap that bear no relation to the real stuff for sale in Greece. This may well be true - neither of us has ever drunk real Ouzo in Greece (well, Sam may have had some in Crete when he was 21, but his memory is a little fuzzy and he's fairly sure it would have been commercial crap anyway) - but, well, in this case, ignorance is bliss, because it still tasted very nice to us.

• Nose: licorice
• Taste: licorice
• Looks: like you've dipped a paintbrush covered with white paint in a glass of water
• Goes with: big, fat Kalamata olives (and pickled squid, maybe)
• Rating: 8 out of 10

Verdict: A simple, easy ray of alcoholic sunshine. We'll definitely be drinking this again.